Life of the Squeegie One

Stolen from celes_fire

2008-04-03T20:04:59Z

:P

2008-02-20T21:19:55Z

So I got DW6 today...(Dynasty Warriors 6) and so far its awesome. cant wait to play more after this movie cause shandi is going to play it with me. its much more fun when she plays along with me. anyways off to finish this movie.

mainly posting cause im bored lol.

Sucks

2008-02-17T05:44:33Z

Hate....Life....Sucks....Die!

Hmmm

2008-01-17T07:15:00Z

I have no idea wtf I'm suppose to do with this journal. Its kinda useless....

Emo much?

2006-10-06T00:40:42Z

So I've been looking back through some of my old posts. omfg... I was so god damned emo it wasnt even funny. I mean for fuck sakes just read the poems I wrote lol....

HOLY WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!?!

2006-05-18T01:34:37Z

... Um What's this thing? I forgot how to use it?!

Attention!

2006-04-16T06:13:40Z

This is celes_fire aka Shandi ^^;

Um, this journal is closed until the owner ever feels like opening it up again. >> That could be a long, LONG, LONG time from now.

Anyways, thanks to everyone who reads it? >>

<< *goes to watch her Squeegikins get his brain sucked out by WoW*

RPing....

2004-08-14T20:53:37Z

Havent' posted in a while so decided to. To keep it short...I'm thinking of running a Dragonlance Campaign....must get things together on known main characters and their stats etc...I think it could be fun.

Bored as usual...

2004-07-17T03:23:47Z

Yes, I am bored...

From the chapter "Perception" in the Squeesus Testament: The Holy Handbook of Squeege:

There is one planet but many worlds. And by this I mean; We all live on the same planet but none of us live in the same world. Each one of us see things differently than the other. Even if its slight, the difference is there. Almost everyone will judge others because to them things are a specific way in their world. We need to reach beyond the boundries of our own worlds to accept and share the differences."

Hmm Interesting...

2004-06-28T05:38:21Z

Ok Sundays game of Forgotten Realms was great. My character Vincent D'Facet is a male human Fighter lvl 2.
Well at one point (due to my change of leadership lol) I attacked a 7th level cleric who ultimately kicked my ass. Which I will admit I did alot of damage to him before I died but anyways...I died. Well an ancient great wyrm named Azulgrym decided he would bring me back..well he didnt resurrect me....he used reincarnate. Now I am a female Wood Elf fighter lol... who ONLY speaks wood elf which is funny since I cant understand what anyone says now....also she has a few memories of her "past" life lol. She DOESNT know the difference between good and evil. And well she does realize she was "resurrected" and as she came back she sees the dragon. Well thinking he brought her back (he did) she thinks he is a god...so hence forth she will follow him as a deity ( which hes not). I think I am going to have fun with her. HEHE. Oh yea shes going to be "curious" sexually SOOOOooo thats going to be fun too :)

hmmmmmm

2004-06-23T21:59:59Z

ok been playing more Samurai Warriors, well as i stated before Okuni is my favorite char...who wouldnt want a chick who could beat down 1000 soldiers with a damn umbrella...
Well I unlucked Kunoichi, this teenage female ninja who is I GUESS is suppose to be in training, well after seeing her second outfit Im going to have to raise her up equally on my favorite char list as Okuni..tho she is really weak shes fast as hell.

SHAZAM!....???

2004-06-22T21:25:27Z

welp I am sitting here bored at the moment but for the past few days I have been playing Samurai Warriors for the PS2. Its awesome ALOT better than the Dynasty Warrior series, dont get me wrong they were awesome too but this is alot better. You get to play as Heros/Legends of old feudal Japan. Man, Nobunaga Oda looks awesome, hes my favorite general as he may be with most. But my favorite hero is Okuni....shes a girly girl that fights with an umbrella..its quite funny.

There is this one character named Keiji Maeda, who I THINK is suppose to be Japans version of Chinas Hero, Lu Bu. Tho I may be wrong and it may actually be Yukimora Sananda. Anyways Keiji has a horse named Matsukaze, hes a HUGE ass bluish warhorse who, IMO looks like the horse version of Keiji, LOL. I want him. He can just PLOW right through hundreds of enemys and basically laugh at their corpses... its crazy.

Anyways thought I would share that with you all. Have fun, Im off to beat the game with Takeda Shingen :) hes a warlord btw.

welp life is back to suck MODE!

2004-06-03T06:36:18Z

welp due to circumstances unknown, i am no longer staying at davids place. yes i am now back to the super boring suck mode unto which i used to live before. i now have NOONE to talk to and noone to hang with (except on weekends). what can i say thats how my life works. all roads seem to lead me back to the same place. oh well Squeege has decided to revert back to his old ways.

"We all may live on the same planet, but not one of us lives in the same world as the other"

Quote: Squeege, Master of the Unknowing Minds.

Yes, I am B O R E D!... again.

2004-05-31T19:20:59Z

I am bored so I'm going to write another shit poem for fun.

Tired of walking.
Sleep is what I need.
Nightmares echoing in my head;
nightmares of long ago.

Pain in my heart, waiting.
Waiting for the lost love of
a life long past.

Tired of searching for something
I cannot obtain.
Tired of reaching out and unable
to grasp ahold.

I have reached a deadend in my heart.
There is no turning back.
No more reaching, no more searching.

YAY LIFE OF BEING BORN ANEW!

2004-05-26T07:23:41Z

...yea..right. anyways. Ive been sitting around doing nothing...not many people talk to me anymore. Hey then again Im not online much anymore but that doesnt mean they cant call me or come see me. Oh well I suppose there isnt much I can do about it. Anyways if anyone out there who cares about me! :) Maybe you could come see me or call me? or something??? :)

sighs

2004-05-22T01:44:49Z

I know everyone has issues regardless of whether or not they want to admit it or not but man I about tired of mine.

Its like no matter what I do in this piss poor existence we call life, things seem to just crumble in my hands.
No matter how hard I try or how much I want something...its always out of reach for me.
If not for the solemn vow I made years ago to never commit suicide, I would kill myself...thats how tired of everything I am.
I know to most that will most likely sound stupid but hey like I have said many times before; life is perceived differently from person to person.
If someone was to ask me what the problem was right now I wouldnt know where to begin. I wouldnt know how to tell them how I feel. Then again would I even care? Something I have a problem with is apathy. Im too apathetic about things. I TRY to care about things but I dont... Its the classic problem of taking everything that happens to me and bottle it up inside. However I will tell anyone anything about myself if they were to ask. Its kind of odd I guess...I have no problem in telling how I feel or about my life but yet I can never find a way to explain things to others.
I do not know anymore.

There are alot of things about me people just do not get. I really do not care but lets think about these things.
Most people find me to be ignorant; not very intelligent. Which I find to be to my advantage because people just do not realize the amount of information I pick up on. I will tell you that I am more intelligent than I would ever let you know.
Another thing about me...first impressions I make on people. lol. People at first glance thing I am some sort drug fiend or something. Maybe the way I look or something. I just find that completely funny.

Anyways I needed to vent a little I guess. Tho I dont really feel any better.

Im finished with the entire first chapter of my handbook which is cool. I have about half of the second chapter done.

B O R E D?

2004-05-16T01:52:00Z

Well here I am at Will's house aka "Dude" and Im bored outta my mind once again.
Ive decided that during the long drawn out process of my existence I shall contemplate on the meaning of why things are the way they are.
The answer is hard to aquire..noone really knows the truth but theyd like to think so giving remarks such as "Lifes a bitch then you die." etc...
I think these remarks are stupid and simply made by people who have no intelligence what-so-ever.
There has to be reason to this...but we will probably never know...

Anyways, We all know I am writing a so called "Holy Handbook".

Well for the most part I havent let anyone read any of the passages from it with the exception of a few. Ive decided that Im going to post some of them randomly to the public. If anyone has any comments on them; I glady invite you to post a comment. Even if you dont think it makes sense..tell me and tell me why it doesnt make sense.

Book of Allan: Ch 1 Verse 9

"What is beauty? Some say its specific and exact things. Others say its all in the eye of the beholder. Beauty should be something that makes you feel good. Unfortunately this isnt always true. Some people see beauty as the bane of life. They see it as so because they feel as if they are ugly or that they are worthless. I shall tell you right now. Noone is worthless. Everyone is equal regardless of what others say. Tho everything is left up to choice. If you choose something even unknowing..it could lead you down a path of sorrow. Remember this; when you feel worthless or ugly that you are only hurting yourself. Why hurt yourself? What reason do you have to do this? Do not hurt yourself just because others think you should. There is absolutly no point. You can look unto me for comfort if you wish because remember I am always here willing to listen.

...nothing.

2004-05-08T07:12:49Z

I...seriously have lost all inspiration to write anything worth a crap right now or I would write some more of my book.

I have learned that honesty truely is good, but only if someone can be fully honest about things.

anyways I have no clue what I will be doing now but really...who the fuck cares either.

B O R E D! WOO!

2004-05-04T22:33:05Z

Well I am sorta bored. Think I may watch Bulletproof Monk shortly.

Oh well heres something to do for a minute.

Walking endlessly in the forest of tainted souls.
Staring into the torn pages of a book known as humanity.
Reading the tainted words of lost hope.

Wondering if there is a way around troubled thoughts or
if the pain will forever haunt minds.
Tearing through the darkness with a lighted candle.
Gathering breaths of air as the room shrinks in front of me.

Maybe there is nothing but endless torment.
Perhaps the world will forever be darkened by the human heart.
Someday my heart may grasp something beyond fear,
beyond apathy and beyond darkness.

welp that was crap...but then again I think all my poetry is crap. so... anyways time to get back to writing my "book". :)

RIGHT!...

2004-04-29T07:16:56Z

Ive actually slept quite well in the past couple of days...till today. Hmm no clue but anyways I'm back and I'm bored so I shall be posting some more bs :) btw please dont ask me why the crap poem below sounds the way it does...I seriously have NO idea lol. Its just off the top of my head and thats probably why it makes NO sense... Its something I do... regardless of how I feel at the moment :)

Only time will tell
Am I staring into the void that resembles a heart?
Am I staring into hell?
I feel as if I'm being ripped apart.

Empty, lonely...cold
Life is so long yet so short
Will I die young or will I die old

I have alot on my mind
I have so little time to see
I wish I could put life on rewind
Make things the way they should be

Life, death...sadness
Contemplation of soul
Driven to madness
Falling into an endless hole

Fighting urges to runaway.
Opening the darkened door that leads into the heart
I will win this fight...someday.

I have created a monster...

2004-04-29T06:05:32Z

OMG Wait till the next DCU game...I have created an npc superhero monster...OMG its so frikken FUNNY!

I think I’m too contemplative...and this...well its complete crap for real this time...but oh well

2004-04-29T05:18:32Z

Is this truly love?
Is life being true to me?
I hope so because I'm lost
The way I feel can't you see?.

So many things are said.
So many hearts are dead.
Something grows inside of me
Something people will surely see.

Light flickers at the end
Taking a turn around the bend
Blind...Lost to the person inside my head.

I cant go on...feeling this way forever..
I hope it never ends.
I hope it melts and blends...in synchronicity.

Something grows deep inside of me
Darkness fades as the light grows
Filling me with a feeling I never thought Id see.

All I can dream is you and me.

What did I tell you?

Taken from the Squeesus Testament: Holy Handbook of Squeege

Book of Allan: Chapter 2 Verse 6

There is a time when all must face the darkness. When this time comes what will you do? Will you face it or will you run? Squeesus teachs us to face the darkness and accept it as his holy blessing for to have no darkness in your heart is to not have light either. For light cannot exist with out dark. Squeesus teaches neutrality...apathy. Beware tho...do not be completely overcome by darkness. If you do then there is no hope for your heart to be truely free. Oh yes he also asks if you can please pass the nukes his way?

-Quote: Allan, first follower and devoted servant of Squeesus.

=\

2004-04-21T00:53:02Z

The cup is not half empty as pescimists say
As far as he’s sees nothings left in the cup
A whole cup full of nothing for him to induldge
Since the voice of ambition has long since been shut up

A singer, a writer, he’s not dreaming now of going nowhere
He gave heed to nothing, and all that he was....
Is just a tragedy

So he voyages in circles
Succeeds getting nowhere
And submits to the substance
That first got him there

Than in violent, frustration he cries out to God or just no one
Is there a point to this madness and all that he was....
Is just a tragedy

He feels alone
His heart in his hand
He’s alone
He feels alone
I feel....

Then on that last day he breaks
And he stood tall
And he yelled... and he takes his life

Hmm good stuff I'd say.

Reiteration.

2004-04-16T08:54:56Z

Ok Im sitting here bored and well I just thought I would reiterate the things I hate most of all.
In no particular order....

1. Liars, no I seriously dont lie...you ask me a question you will get an honest answer. So...I suggest to those of you who really dont want the honest answer to the questions you ask me....Dont ask then.

2. Cheaters...ok I dont mean in a sense such as someone cheating on a videogame either..Im talking relationships here.

3. Hypocrites....man I hate ppl who say to do this and that yet seem to do it themselves...I dont care if its a problem and you are trying to keep someone else from doing it.. If you feel like you should tell someone not to do something...then DONT be doing it yourself.

4. People who refuse to give me my stockpile of nuclear weaponry...Yes I want my NUKES NOW!

*glares at those dirty bastards who this list applies to*

(sorry Im bored)

Quick Note.

2004-04-16T08:43:13Z

Squeegies Prime Belief: Everyone has the right to do and believe in what they want...so long as they dont push their shit upon me. Now with that said...We are good to go :)

*Do Bad, Get Bad*